LOCATION:Zady Andreevsky, now the city of Yakhroma.
REPORT:The cat virus activated in the local Safe City system gave its results, yesterday it was discovered using the Feistel Network, which has found unique application in deep learning and pattern recognition, a Fenton VII doppelganger. He was crossing a section of the highway near the Yakhroma-Lada auto center, doing it secretly, but unexpectedly he fell into the headlights of a taxi car and the DVR recorded his movement.
Official request No. 002-YAH:Lyusya Ivanova, I ask you to use all your ground-based cat agents to find out the location and intentions of the Fenton VII double.
📜 Recorded: 09/03/2026
Meow Tap: The Art of Biting and Grabbing
Today Anton gave me a master class on ancient wrestling. It turns out I was doing everything too gently! A true master must be like a spring.
We worked out three main elements:
Short poke:A lightning strike with a paw on the Biped's heel. The main thing is to make the “brick face” in time.
Grip:This is when you hug Anton's hand with all four paws. There is no turning back!
Hold:We lie on the enemy until he admits that you are the boss on this sofa (or until they give you a tasty treat).
“The main thing in meow-tap is not victory, but that the tufts of wool fly beautifully and in the sun’s rays.”
Anton says I have talent. Tomorrow we will move on to studying the “Night Tygydyk” technique. Beware, birches!
📜 Recorded: 08.03.2026
The Great Taming of the White Chalice
The morning started with a call. Two-legged Anton turned on the “murmuring stick” over the white bowl and left. I realized: this is my chance to prove that I am a descendant of tigers, and not just a fluffy rug!
At first I just touched the stream with my paw. She's wet! And biting! But then I used a secret technique: I stuck my head directly under the stream. Now I look like a wet dandelion, but I learned that water tastes much better if it flows down your collar.
“Why drink from a bowl when you can drink from the tap, wet your ears and splash all the mirrors within a two-meter radius?”
Now I’m drying on the windowsill and waiting for a well-deserved portion of pate for my bravery. Hygiene is not about catching mice, it requires character!
📜 Recorded: 05.03.2026
Case #001: CLOSED
Cutlet amnesty and the triumph of diplomacy
I considered different options: from Italian pate syndicates to a pawnshop (Anton’s watch was ticking just so temptingly). But in the end I chose the path Nadya Smirnova.
“The mind is alive, the heart is lively, the soul is compassionate, and in the hands is a bag of provisions.”
Nadya rendered a verdict: there are no Achaeans recorded in the area, the Achaeans are generally a myth invented by those who were not given extra pate. She supported her expert opinion a mountain of cutlets.
Fenton:+1 cutlet (for vigilance).
Aska:+1 cutlet (for successfully imitating a dog).
Anton:Left under supervision, since he is friends with such influential people as Nadya.
STOMACH IS FULL – MIND IS CALM
P.S. Let Anton wear the watch for now. But I keep an eye on the time until the next dinner.
📜 Recorded: 05.03.2026
Strictly confidential
📫 Delivered by pigeon to the feeder (two seeds were given in return)
🔥 End of dispatch
...Anton's connections with the swamp past... the swamp knows how to remain silent...
Lyusya warns: the secrets of Yakhroma are hidden deeper than they seem...
ICQ is just the tip of the iceberg...
Result:There are no witnesses (the dove flew away, but I am silent). The evidence was destroyed in the oak fire. It’s hot, but conspiracy requires sacrifice - you have to warm your belly with a serious look.
DESTROYED
📜 Recorded: 05.03.2026
Strategic rest
Citadel of Pine Peace
While Two-legged Anton is working, I took over his main creation - a pine bed. The smell of the forest reminds you of good old England, and the height gives you a feeling of absolute superiority.
🛡️Security level: Maximum.Aska, for all her swamp zeal, does not have levitation skills. Here, at the height of human growth, I am beyond the reach of her wet nose and excessive enthusiasm.
I lie there, contemplating the specks of dust in the sunlight and thinking about Lucy Ivanova’s answer. Pine helps you think clearly.
Status:Out of reach. Do not disturb until dinner (unless it is rabbit pate).
📜 Recorded: 05.03.2026
Official request
📜 Certificate to Lyusya Ivanova
Dear Lyusya, Fount of Yakhroma Truths!
Writes to youFenton, Lord St. Andrew's, by right of the claw and British name. We have heard rumors that the mists of Yakhroma do not hide a single secret from you.
We ask you to shed some light (or at least direct a flashlight beam) on the following circumstances:
Where did oak come to our domain from? Isn't it from those forests where Aska's ancestors scoured?
What is Anton’s true role in this “oak deal”? Is he the secret trustee of the Achaean fleet?
And most importantly: are there any entries in Yakhroma’s chronicles about the “Swamp Settlement” so that I can finally substantiate my rights to a double portion of pate?
We are waiting for an answer, not taking our eyes off the fence and the bowl.
The stamp is attached (the tail is wagged).
🐾
Fenton VIII, Keeper of the Wood.
Investigative experiment
Protocol No. 2: Confrontation at the woodpile
Venue: rug by the fireplace.
Participants:Fenton(investigator),Aska(suspect),Log No. 5(material evidence).
14:05— Suddenly he dropped an oak chip with his claw right in front of Aska’s nose.Reaction:She opened one eye slightly, sneezed, but did not say the Achaean password. Cunning.
14:15— He came from the flank and began to look closely at her left ear. I was looking for a microphone or Andreevsky’s hidden card there.Reaction:She tried to lick my nose. An obvious distraction!
14:30- Anton rustled the bag. ICQ took off faster than Achilles' arrow.
Investigator's conclusion:There is no direct evidence of a connection with Troy, but the suspect’s appetite is clearly higher than normal. I suspect that she works for food on both sides.
TESTED BY FENTON
📜 Recorded: 03/04/2026
X-Files
Case No. 001: “ICQ and the wooden horse”
While I was inspecting the logs for Achaeans, Aska was suspiciously actively wagging her tail. In heraldry, this can mean either joy or giving secret signals to the enemy!
Clue 1:She sniffed the wood three times. Perhaps she was looking for drawings of a catapult.
Clue 2:When she hears the word “Anton,” she pretends that she is just a dog. Too easy...
Clue 3:She comes from the same foggy places as me. Is she a double agent?
Verdict:Transfer ICQ to enhanced surveillance mode. Deprive her of access to strategic reserves of pate until the circumstances are clarified.
P.S. Anton tried to stroke her, but I hissed just in time - subordination is paramount.
📜 Recorded: 03.03.2026
Trojan log and oak inspection
Today Anton brought a suspicious oak structure into the house. The two-legged guy thinks it's "firewood," but I know the story! I remember how in Staffordshire they talked about the cunning of the Achaeans.
Personally inspected each log for hidden cavities and enemy spies.Verdict:dry, the enemy has not been detected, claws are sharpened perfectly.
“I will not give up control of the home ownership. If someone is hiding inside the oak tree, they will first have to go through my right “bite” and left “tsap”.
Status:The border is locked. Firewood is approved for burning. I'm waiting for a reward in the form of double cream for combat duty.
📜 Recorded: 02.03.2026
Spring revolution: The sofa is ours!
Spring in Andreevsky smells of melted snow and change. I realized that contemplating silence on the stairs is a winter strategy. Spring requires scale!
“Aska looked at me for a long time with her swampy eyes, but you can’t argue against a toponym from Staffordshire. I just made a “whoosh” with my paw and took the center of the sofa. Now I am a soft settlement.”
Aska is now sleeping on the rug, and I am exploring the new horizons of the first floor. Here the sun warms your belly 15 minutes longer!
📍 Current location: Sofa (Purring General Staff)
📜 Recorded: 01.03.2026
Secret Legacy: Why I am Fenton
Did you think I was just a cat? Ha! It turns out that my name is not just a set of sounds for calling to the bowl.
It's from Ancient England!Fenn(swamp) +position(settlement). I was originally a place name from Staffordshire, and now I am the owner of a house in St. Andrew's. So I’m not just a cat, I’m the whole “Settlement in the Swamp.”
This explains my craving for mysticism, fogs, and why I look at Aska so suspiciously (she is one of the swamp dogs, we are of the same blood!).
I just don’t understand how Anton is connected to our swamp past? Aska said that Lyusya Ivanova could shed light on this secret; she is a treasure trove of local secrets and historical information about Yakhroma.
🔍 Historical background: Two-legged Anton is a valuable (from the Latin Antonius), but still a minor character in my British saga, Bring it, scratch it behind the ear.
Status: I'm proud of my roots. I demand oatmeal (just kidding, give me pate).
👑
🐈⬛
📶
🌾
🏡
Fenton de Andreevskoe
📜 Recorded: 01.03.2026
Object “Horns”: Communication established
A thing for “digits” appeared on the table. I sniffed her carefully. As soon as I bit the wire, the bipeds began waving their arms and shouting about some kind of “football”. Apparently, I picked up a very important signal from the cat dimension. 📡🐾
📜 Recorded: 27.02.2026
📜 Decree No. 1: Establishing the Order of Fenton
“For special services to my belly and the contemplation of silence”
Meow! I, Fenton, Lord of the Second Floor and Pine Castle, officially establish the highest feline award in our house -Order of Fentonthree degrees.
🥇 I DEGREE: “Golden Camel” AwardedAntonfor outstanding pine architecture and the introduction of camel hair into my everyday life. The reward gives the right to an extraordinary purr at 4 am.
🥈 II DEGREE: “Silver Claw” For flawless opening of cans and uninterrupted flow of cream. Currently under review (depending on dinner).
🥉 III DEGREE: “Bronze Bone” Candidate:Aska. Awarded for remaining quiet under the stairs and not trying to lick my paws.
Important Note:The holder of the order must remember that the presence of an award does not relieve him of the obligation to scratch behind the ear at the first request of Master Fenton.
Grand Master Fenton 🐾
📜 Recorded: 26.02.2026
🌲 My pine castle: How I beat Anton and Aska
Meow! A detective unfolded in our house.Antonsuddenly disappeared and returned with an armful of pine boards. I immediately suspected something was wrong: the sounds of “whack-whack” prevented me from contemplating the silence.
At first I thought:“Is Anton really making a crib for himself?”. But it’s too small! He won't even fit there in a ball. Is this really for Aska? I had already prepared a menacing “Meow”, but then Anton dragged the structure towardssecond floor.
And we know: ICQ and stairs are incompatible things. Then I realized:It was he who made the crib for ME!
My verdict:
Frame:Solid pine from Anton. While I'm on shore, I don't sharpen my claws.
Pillow:Realcamel hair. Warms better than any laptop!
Location:Strategic height. Dog is below, comfort is above.
⚠️ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ICQ:The ladder is an intellectual barrier. The camel pillow is protected by the magic of my claws. Admission is for cream only!
🐾 Your blogger Fenton
📜 Recorded: 02.25.2026
How I stepped on the Internet (and I liked it)
Meow! It all started when Twoleg left a warm black box on the sofa. I thought:“Oh, a new belly warmer!”and lay down to rest.
The box began to make strange sounds: “peek-peek” and “blam.” When I opened one eye, I saw letters running on the screen. It turns out that with my back paws I accidentally wrote a letter to some director! I hope he appreciated my style.
“Two-legged people constantly look at these screens and feel sad. I decided: if I don’t show them real life - a fence, butterflies and cream poured on time - then who will?”
Now I'm a blogger. It's almost like hunting mice, but instead of mice I'm catching your "likes" (hopefully they're tasty). Write to me slowly, I read syllables and am constantly distracted by flies!
📜 Recorded: 02.24.2026
Declaration of Independence
I decided that today is a day of great idleness. The bipeds were calling to eat, but I was busy: I was contemplating the silence on the stairs.
📜 Recorded: 02/23/2026
How I caught a sunbeam
He was very fast, but I almost grabbed him! True, then he climbed onto the ceiling. I think he was just scared of my menacing “Meow.”
“Fenton, my dear, you are a legendary person in Andreevsky. Your Staffordshire ancestors knew back in the 19th century that the best sofa is the one on which someone is already sleeping. And Anton... well, his last name in Yakhroma’s secret scrolls comes immediately after the Chief Manager of the Cream!”
— From the archives of Lucy Ivanova
🐱
📜 Secret archive of Yakhroma
Entry #42:Anton is not just a name. Translated from the Yakhroma cat dialect, this means “Can opener who doesn’t ask unnecessary questions.” Research continues...
